i don't know either why i want to post this post. right now i don't have someone to talk to so i just think that i just can post this to tell how i'm feeling right now, and also i think i speak better in words.
today, when i was sleeping inside my room, my granny who live with me went to my room and woke me up.
she said, "Vero, wake up and don't be surprise. Pak kung has gone." after she said that, she went away.
leaving me with nothing but only this shocking news.
i tried to go back to my sleep but i can't. my eyes are tired because of my stubbornness who slept at 3 am but my mind... it keep bothering me..
i was thinking in my bed. i suddenly remember about pak kung. actually i'm not that close with pak kung, but right now let me tell you a story about him.
pak kung is the brother of my grandfather from my father's family. he wasn't married but he loved kids very much. he live alone for his whole life. well, if you ask me why, i don't know the reason too. for me, he's mysterious. he didn't let other people come to his room. when i was lived at my old house, i've ever come to his room secretly but i hardly remember everything there. i was so young that time. pak kung was very diligent. everyday he woke up early and help my family to open the poultry shop. everyday..
although i seldom talked with him, i know that he has a sincere heart. he loved me very much. why i said so?
he knew that i love his homemade cakes. when he got time, he would bake some cakes for me and told my mother to give it to Vero because she love it. oh no, my tears are falling
enough with the story. he has gone and never come back. i still can't believe this. all i know that he was a strong man and he didn't have any disease but why did he suddenly go like this? i still don't know the reason why he passed away yet. i'm afraid to know and not brave enough to ask.
why did he have to go without saying goodbye?
maybe i'm not that close to pak kung but when i knew this news, i feel lost. i don't want to lose him. i don't want to lose anybody whom i love.
suddenly i remember this sentence. if i got 100 days to live with someone, i want to live 100 days minus one day. why? because i want to spend my life and death with that person.
maybe when we say goodbye, we will hope for another hello. however, sometimes, we have misunderstood it. we will never know how much time we have.
goodbye pak kung, we're glad we had the times together
Although we love you deeply, we could not make you stay God want you closer to him and i believe God had another plan behind all this.
you will be forever in my heart :)
